Failing.

I've never faced so much failure in my life. I sure had it easy the first eighteen years of my life.
I can't remember ever dealing with rejection until I got to college...I can cite every program or any thing I was ever rejected to since my life turned around to give my a reality check.

• Summer Dental Program (failed twice)
• Summer Research at my University (failed twice)
• Multicultural Student Mentor Program
• McNair Program
• Pharmacology Research at a university in Tennessee
• And probably more that I can't think of right now....

It makes sense now why I was so happy to do an unpaid internship the summer after I graduated. It had been too long since I'd been accepted to something. Sad and pathetic at the same time.

Now I've already been rejected to two dental schools without even having had an interview and deferred to one as soon as I applied. I'm down to just seven schools. I'm praying to the Lord that I'm accepted to one and I'm so scared that I won't even be offered an interview at any. March is the ultimate, no-chance I'll get in point in this round. I'm terrified of it. Time just keeps passing and I have no hopes for myself. I try to stay optimistic but the world seems to steer me the other way. I don't know what I did wrong and really hopes God gives me the chance to prove myself this year and not next. 

I want to be a dentist. I want to help people live easier lives, practice good oral hygiene, help people smile, build relationships with people, and provide for those who aren't able to get regular care. I want to be a dentist.

[edit]: I just recalled where my last basket full (BIG BASKET) of rejections came from. JOB APPLICATIONS. It's amazing how unqualified I am for all the jobs that are supposed to be in demand with my degree...That and my honesty that has gotten me nowhere.